Archive for May, 2011

stairway rendezvous

My cousin annoys the crap out of me. Sometimes… I just wanna severe all ties will all my family members (extended included) except for my brother, my sister, and one cousin.

Actually I don’t really know. I’ve never been a fan of families. I hate the idea of having to spend time with them just coz we’re blood related. I want to spend time with them when I genuinely want to spend time with them, if and only if I like them. Why does it make a difference whether we share the same blood in us or not? I feel closer to certain friends over family anyways. I feel no need to discriminate between souls.

Even with my brother and sister, I feel like we grew up more in school than at home. That’s why we’re quite different in values and thinking. Sometimes I think of my siblings more of good friends rather than siblings, and I actually think that works better for us. We just happen to be three different individuals stuck in a similar familial situation. Childhood memories in that shithole were just never that sweet. I just hope and pray they are able to leave that place as fast as they can, as I did.

2011
05/27
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CATEGORY
family
opinions
reflections
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Identity Crisis

There has been some talk lately regarding articles about Migration/Staying on The Malaysian Insider. The point that stikes home the most…..

Is that I know one day I’m gonna write one of those Migration stories.

My story will probably be very similar to AC’s article, “First Love, Long Lost”. And I’m honestly, I’m a little surprised it turned out this way for me. Being patriotic… loyal to your own country of origins… These are things the government constantly tries to drill into our head, and things that some Malaysians just hate looking at because they hate their country. Like AC, I wouldn’t consider myself patriotic, but I wouldn’t say I don’t love my country.

But the truth of the matter is.. I’m beginning to love the country I’m studying in more and more each day. I can’t help it. This place is magnetic. All you folks who rant back home about people leaving the country for good. Come live here and see if you actually wanna leave this place! You wanna know why Americans are so patriotic and love their country? Coz it’s the Land of The Free. I feel so free in America. I can say or do anything I want. People can judge, but hey, there are always weirder weirdos out there so no worries man. People are liberal (in general). People are not zombies (a term I use to refer to the ‘mass-produced’ citizens of Malaysia). People take the effort to be nice to you (also in general)! People can accept you for who you are, no matter where you come from. Well actually I’m just talking about New York. I haven’t lived in other states so who knows? hehe

The biggest slap to my face is knowing that if and when I come home, I may not make much of a difference. Malaysians have to fight for scholarships to leave the country; Malaysians have to sometimes fight to even have a chance to give back to the country. WTF?! Going back home is just like giving charity okay? We don’t gain anything, yet we have to fight for that small chance to do so?!

I’ve had questions from different people asking me if I’d eventually wanna settle down here. Before I even came here someone predicted that I would fall in love with this country. I’ve also had someone here tell me that hell no I ain’t going back. I ask him why, and he answers “Look at you!”. What does that even mean? Yet deep down I know.. and I admit… I have a strong feeling that I ain’t going back home. Not for a long while more.

Now people ask me why I don’t wanna go home and choose to stay the summer here. I vary my answer from person to person, but the raw truth is that I just can’t bear to go home. Home is reality, and reality is always more painful that this sub-reality I’m just freshly thriving in.

ps: After 60 posts, I just realized this is my first one that needed a tag for Malaysia….. what a way to end writing this post.


2011
05/24
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CATEGORY
Malaysia
reflections
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Out with Goddard

I have officially left Goddard to live in Union Square. For the summer. Packing was so horrible. Moving was terrible crazy. Unpacking just felt numbing. I CAN wait to move to Gramercy in Fall.

This week is literally the only break I have before everything starts all over again. It’s just so crazy. Life here is just so crazy. But honestly I don’t know if it’s coz I’m on my own without my parents to help me with stuff, or this is the madness that comes with living in NY.

Anyways it’s been almost a year in America now. Feel more integrated with the culture now.

Wanted to share an article by Andrew on studying in US:

Why USA?

Now that I look back, I think I’d hate myself if I had picked any other country to study in…

2011
05/20
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CATEGORY
NY
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I just needed to share beauty..

Lyrics are pretty close in meaning to original language. imo.

http://www.beginningwithi.com/comments/2010/02/14/learn-italian-in-song-questo-piccolo-grande-amore/

OH, and one of my favorite paintings from the Renaissance period (Look carefully… ^^) :

2011
05/13
POSTED BY
CATEGORY
music
NYU
Uncategorized
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Casa

As I’m nearing the end of this sem and looking back on it… the only class I really really enjoyed going to every single day without fail was Italian. Renaissance Art comes next coz the material is interesting and engaging but not as interactive as a language class. I effing hate Politics and Nat Science. Skipped so many lectures… lol.

It’s funny.. how the most random of classes you pick sometimes turn out to be the best choices you ever make. Or perhaps sometimes, it’s just the choices you make when you follow your gut/heart that lead you to beauty and passion. Perhaps our hearts are just more attracted to things concerning passion? So when we follow a path of passion, it always begets more passion. Don’t know if that makes any sense whatsoever… but it feels right to say. That’s how my writing has always been like. I could never write anything without putting a small piece of my soul into it. It’s just always been the case for me. Sometimes I fear that if I keep writing and thinking out loud, there will be nothing left to express after everything is said and done. And then what? What would be left of me after that? This reminds of a horcrux in Harry Potter, where Tom Riddle put parts of his soul into different objects and binds them with spells to guard them. Is this what writers means when they say writing is their urn? That they put their heart and souls into their writing, and that immortalizes part of themselves?

Because sometimes I feel that writing is not a mere preservation of one’s thoughts and soul(?). Sometimes I feel like I literally give myself away in writing. And my soul feels lighter within after writing.

In that case, every time I write, the scales would just tip me and my ’empty soul’ more and more towards  the direction of Hell. Hahaha.

2011
05/11
POSTED BY
CATEGORY
musings
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America ain’t great, NY is.

So guys I’ve officially been initiated as a sister of PCT. As of last night’s stupor…… hahaha.

So today I took a tour of Brooklyn with ExploreNY? group that I signed up for through clubfest? We did a small tour around the Fort Greene neighborhood and had lunch at Smoky Joint. I took much delight in knowing what to order on the menu after going on the New Orleans trip down south. Food was pretty good I have to say, but I think I still liked the random BBQ joint we pulled in in Alabama because the other restaurant was closed on Sunday at 2pm. One regret? Was not able to try the Angus hot dog! I am so going back there in the summer to explore the neighborhood myself. I mean that place feels like freaking Manhattan anyways. Some parts of Brooklyn are just really swag. But I find Queens to be much more… residential? More open spaces and more of a suburban feel compared to Brooklyn. But I might be wrong, I haven’t seen much of Brooklyn or Queens anyways. And huh… I have NOT been to the Bronx. Oh my… why is that? Should go to a Yankee’s game soon lol.

Came back to NYU and took a 5-minute scan of what was left of Strawberry Fest 2011. Yup you read right. Strawberries everywhere. I rate the event a 6/10 though almost every stall was closed when I got there, because I managed to grab a bunch of free strawberries =D You know.. it’s really easy for small people (like me) to get to the front of a crowd of people and grab stuff. People just underestimate us. There’s gotta be strategy you know? For example, you stand close behind the ultra fat guy coz you know he’s most likely greedy and fast at getting food. Then once he’s gone there’ll be a humongous gap to fill, which you coincidentally are able to fill with ease and still leave space for a couple more people.

Damn it. I have like a zillion painting to read up on tonight =/ Wish me luck…

2011
05/07
POSTED BY
CATEGORY
events
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The Plaza

So I don’t know why I’m really in the blogging mood these few days.

Anyways I went to the Plaza today to help out with the Schneiderman campaign. So, I wouldn’t call this an internship. No (and this is not anyhoo related to the summer internship btw). Apparently…. interns who quit/finish their time get called back often (say… 2 wks after you thought you were done forever) to help out at yet another fundraising event. Man….. I am pretty sure I got myself into some Hotel California themed ‘internship’ here. You can check out any time you like, But you can never leave! LOL

Well.. I’m not surprised. Campaigning in America is a huge deal. Plus for me is that it’s interesting for me to learn bout local politics in NY. And go to swag events at expensive hotels and eat their expensive food. Hell yeah, and Alec Baldwin was there too! I was so surprised that he gave Eric’s opening speech…. -.- Like wtf. Isn’t this event supposed to be about you? (Eric Schneiderman aka Attorney General of NY fyi). But hey I ain’t complaining. I got to be like 3 feet close to Alec Baldwin. Sadly, that’s my closest encounter with a movie star so far after missing out on Glee action in Washington Square Park last week. =( Though I swear I saw Owen Wilson on a bike one day….. Or maybe just his doppelganger.

This sem is quickly coming to an end. Can’t believe I’m gonna be a freaking sophomore. That means I gotta start electing more major courses…. sigh. Oh well… least I get to balance out Econs with Lit or something. Don’t wanna get my marginal utility down each sem by so much. I need some equilibrium! what am I talking about man…

Ciao! A domani… O dopo domani… O dopo dopo domani!

Ti piace?

2011
05/05
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CATEGORY
NYU
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Boston Day Trip


So I had a rare opportunity to take a day trip to Boston on Sunday, and when I mean day trip I literally mean day trip. I slept at 5 and woke up at 6 to leave for Chinatown. Yeah, apparently it’s $15 a tix to hop on a bus to Boston. How neat is that?? Well, that’s Chinatown for you.

We arrived at Boston at about 10.30am and it felt like such a dream (WTF are we really in Boston?!). We decided to take the subway, got harassed by the rude ticket guy at the ticket machines, didn’t understand a word the train conductor was blaring on the speakers, and hopped off at station…. Harvard. Yesh, pretty damn obvious. Anyways, Harvard was…. SO DAMN UGLY. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Everywhere I turn it’s red brick and white cement, and stinky fertilizer for their newly cultivated flower beds, and their…. seemingly non-existent students nowhere in sight. It must be finals week for them.. hehe.

MIT is a whole different story. MIT has a more progressive, welcoming and creative feel to it. Harvard feels downright conservative and stuffy. I like MIT. Gotta figure out how to get to Norcal and how to get around San Francisco if I do decide to go there during the summer. So yeah, summer plans this summer are…. summer school (million dollar question: Can Caroline wake up before 9am every day?? Hmm…), internship at Launch Education, explore uptown NYC, and go to Cali! =D

I actually can’t wait to go to Cali. Am looking forward to visiting USC, UCLA….. Stanford? San Jose? hahaha. Still trying to figure that one out. Wonder how diff California is from NY. No scratch that. I wanna go to Vegas. When I’m 21.

I have like 3 finals next week =( Thank god my politics final is on the 17th. I’ll kill myself if it were next week coz I skip every lecture except for the one where I shook Gordon Brown’s hand. 

So… anyways. Here is a screenshot of next sem’s timetable. No, I did not edit the picture coz I’m lazy like that. Oh this should be large enough….

PS: omg.. I thought this post was solely gonna be on Boston. How did I go off on such a tangent?!

2011
05/04
POSTED BY
CATEGORY
NYU
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Here’s an old joke I tell close friends:

If all of us were in an open field and there was a lightning storm… Why would you always get struck first?

Answer: Turns out height played no part in why the lightning struck me first instead of you.


2011
05/03
POSTED BY
CATEGORY
true story I swear
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Watchy Watchy

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