Every post I publish here is a confession really, and they do help me release pent up energy even if there is ultimately nobody to receive the note. There are certain readers who still read this blog, but that’s not the main idea for me; it’s the necessary expression that keeps me sane and alive.

Necessary confessions of the day, nothing too tenebrific–

I fantasize a lot… they aren’t even necessarily sexual; most of the time they’re very chaste, mundane things in life that I wish had happened or would happen in the future… with certain people.

I don’t get along very well with British chaps because well, I probably don’t understand their sense of humor. But on the other hand, Americanisms are starting to become second nature to me as of late.

I have this delay in feeling emotions. It’s like my heart will process it but my brain will scan through and store that information in a facility somewhere until the opening date where I open the package and to my surprise/surmise, the emotions are staring back at me so lucidly that I can have no doubt about it. So then, the question becomes, did I only catch those feelings at the time of opening or from the very beginning? For if the brain was unaware… then it wasn’t really part of my consciousness. Subconsciousness maybe.

I like using excel a lot more than the normal person.

I always need to have something/someone in my heart to fixate on otherwise I feel empty inside.

I’m starting to feel old and weary. I’m starting to liken stability and peace, despite the random bouts of energy.

I judge 30-somethings that still act like they are 20-somethings, even though I know it’s probably because their trajectories got delayed somewhere down the line, or because they never wanted certain trajectories in the first place.