Archive for April, 2013

Finally see what it means to be living.

You got a fast car
But is it fast enough so we can fly away?
We gotta make a decision
We leave tonight or live and die this way.

 

 

Dream a little dream of me.

I wish there were a machine or a pensieve that could record my emotions instead of just thoughts. Because whenever I dream, I tend to feel people’s presences instead of see their faces. I feel who they are and what are their intentions. I feel their feelings and I feel the world around me internally.

I think the way we dream tells a lot about ourselves. I feel my world but never really see clear images. Some of my friends see sharp images. Some people can control their dreams. Some people dream of mythical things like in a fantasy novel. I typically dream of trivial every day occurrences that very occasionally happen in real life. Dejavu!

Initial thoughts on building a career..

I guess I’m just starting to a build a career even though I am not out of college and have not worked full-time for more than 3 months at a time. I say this because the sad truth is that there are no such things as entry level jobs nowadays, as internships (paid or unpaid) have become the new “entry level” position. Not a single person I know has started full-time after graduation, without going through this process. I have done approximately 5-8 different stints at different places throughout my 3 years here in the States. All were unpaid except with the additional under the table stipend, and all have had varying lengths with diverse experiences/skills I have picked up. Some have been in non-profits, some have been with start-ups, some have been sketchy, some have been exploiting. But… no regrets.

It is a tough tough economy right now and it is true, that schools and colleges/universities aren’t teaching the right skills to enter the workforce (unless you want an academic career). It is so hard to justify pursuing a liberal arts or fine arts degree in the face of such tough economic/financial times because most of the time you do not get the same return on your investment as say, a business/engineering/pre-med/CS degree. And though everyone generally agrees that your concentration in college/uni may have nothing to do with your future career path, and that college is extremely extremely expensive and may not be the best investment for some, it is still something generally needed and accepted in society as a screening means for suitable job candidates. Perhaps this is just for the sake of pedigree and reputation if clients ask, perhaps it is completely unfounded and uncalled for, or perhaps the difference between an “educated” and “uneducated” person truly is stark. People do say you can usually tell the difference between a person who has gone to college and a person who has not. For the most part it has been true in my experience. People who go to college are usually a little more “refined” imo. Though I’m not sure if this “refinement” justifies them being better job candidates than others. Maybe… maybe not.

One thing I have realized being in colleges is that, the more I venture out to explore new career paths through internships and by talking to people, the more I understand that the workforce is evolving. Knowledge is not hard to find nowadays. We have so many resources and knowledge is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to solving problems. People are seeking for candidates with creativity and the ability to utilize knowledge properly, more than candidates with knowledge itself. Because let’s be honest… we can Google almost anything nowadays.

And as to grades and extracurricular activities, my general experiences point to the acknowledgement that nobody gives a shit as long as you have something on your resume. Get decent grades (no need for stellar-that won’t help you find a job) and do “some” extracurricular stuff (too much takes up too much time), but do a lot more “entry level” stints is what I would suggest to anyone, because the whole workforce is still in the midst of change and employers are beginning to redefine what skills they want from recent grads/non-grads. We are expected to know a lot more and have a very decent skill set to hit the ground running during our first “real job” as an adult. So we may have a lot of “entry level” work to pursue before we get a “real job”, but in the long-run I think it is good for the economy and the workforce as a whole as candidates become more and more skilled and experienced even for an entry level position. However, it is very taxing on the young, especially since schools aren’t teaching us these skill sets in the first place – we have to go out and learn them ourselves.

Education is and always will be a problem for society. That is what I think and conclude. Whether it be the cost of education, the definition, the execution, the scope, the inequality etc. Of all these I have mentioned or have not mentioned, I think that the mismatch between the scope and the point of education is the biggest tragedy of all. Because the point of education nowadays is not primarily to create smart, intellectual graduates(that can be a by-product) – it is to sustain and create a nation’s economy. And that mismatch creates a huge inefficiency/waste of time and resources. (Of course the point of education is subjective but I believe this to be an accurate observation on my part. This is not meant to be an opinion of mine.)

***

Just so you know, this post was inspired by the music video”I Will Not Let An Exam Result Decide My Fate”. Because as much as he wants to rant about it, exam results do decide your fate to a large extent, all around the world. However, in the States you can compensate that with various extracurricular activities/talents/side-projects of your own, and still get into a decent college/get a decent job without graduating top of your class. And I am eternally eternally grateful for leaving that wretched British system behind.

Video below:

Heroin(e)

It’s been a really bumpy few months. I’ve been forced to do a lot of unwanted soul searching and decision making. Jesus, I’m jaded. What this city does to you… It’s the most surreal and real city at the same time. You can do anything here – at a price. But hey, at least you get to pay the price and sell your soul to fuel your dream. Dreams don’t just come true anywhere ya know?

Even if the whole world falls to shambles and it’s the end of the world, I want to cling this city and grow my roots here. Because this is where I’ve belonged all along. This urban bitch and her lovable sass. You get seduced and drugged, abducted and mugged. And when you’re poor and skinny like the hobo next door, she makes you question why you’re under her spell in the first place. But you can’t stop asking for more.

 

xoxo

I think I saw him in the train station.

I think I saw him in the train station

but.

I couldn’t tell – he was looking away from me.

 

I kept looking back to make sure

but.

The people kept swarming you see.

 

And that sliver of a glimpse was like bliss and tempest in a hazy swirl of memory:

And I all remember is the side cheek of his name;

The hair of his scent;

The heart beating chest with brown eyes big;

The pizza song kissed, hoped. gone. . this. . .

 

I think I saw him in the train station

and.

I could tell – he was looking away from me.